20,000 Muslim protesters in Istanbul were chanting “Pope don’t come!” (Seriously.)

"You can imagine several reasons why the Muslims would chant “Pope don’t come!”

1. Muslims are supportive of the Pope’s celibacy and rooting for him.
2. Muslims have already locked up their sons but feel that an extra precaution is warranted.
3. No one wants to clean it up.

In a crowd of 20,000 people, you have to figure they have different reasons.

I immediately imagined a second group of protesters with a modest
grasp of Western slang chanting “Pope don’t shit in our woods!” It’s
important to cover all the bases, chant-wise. You’d hate yourself later
if the Pope went and did the one thing you forgot to chant."

"I also imagine the Pope trying to craft his speeches so as to not
ignite World War III. It wouldn’t take much of a gaffe – a
mistranslated verb, an unclear proverb, quoting an ancient scholar who
said Muslims are God’s dingleberries – this sort of slip can happen. No
one is infallible.

I also wonder what the Muslims think of this man of peace who
carries a scepter featuring a bearded Middle Eastern guy nailed to a
cross. I’m no expert in body language and dressing for success, but I
have to think it’s wise to hide your torture-themed novelty toys when
you’re pursuing world peace.

I read that the president of Turkey plans to present the Pope with a
COPY of the imperial order for tolerance issued by the Ottoman Sultan
who seized Istanbul from Christians in 1453. Now if we ignore for the
moment that you can buy one of those at the airport gift shop for
$1.75, there’s also the question of what message it sends. On one hand
it could mean “We Muslims mean Christians no harm.” Or it could mean
“Neener neener – you have been our bitch since before Columbus was a
zygote!”  I think it could go either way.

Anyway, I know I feel more comfortable with the Pope in Turkey. When
it comes to handling delicate matters affecting the survival of the
planet, you want to send in the 79-year old German guy with a Marge
Simpson hat, a history of talking directly to God, and seven decades of
sperm backup. I don’t see how that could go wrong."

from dilbertblog