finally,some sensible health info.

Just got this - best info I've had in ages!!!
Q: I've heard that
cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this
true?

A: Your heart
is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on
exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not
make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car
by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a
nap.
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Q:
Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must
grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what
are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism
of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is
also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop
can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable
products.
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Q:
Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from
fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the
fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made
out of grain.
Bottoms
up!
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Q:
How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you
have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two
to one,
etc.
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Q:
What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise
program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain...Good!
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Q:
Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried
these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could
getting more vegetables be
bad for
you?
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Q:
Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the
middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets
bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger
stomach.
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Q:
Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another
vegetable!!! It's
the best feel-good food
around!
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Q:
Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure,
explain whales to
me.
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Q:
Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

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Well,
I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and
diets.

And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with
the
intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved
body,
but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate
in
the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and
screaming
"WOO HOO, What a Ride!"