Anonymous said...
come and see us play a one-off farrrewell gig 13 years too late at bannermans on sat 9 sept free entry.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
joyriders farewell gig(after a 13 year break)
a few posts ago i posted a link to probably my fave local band The Joyriders.so this morning at work i am havin a wee surf,think i will check out my comments,see if there are any i mean.and there is one at the post mentioned above.that is odd i think,dont recall that bein there before.turns out to be this..........
Anonymous said...
Anonymous said...
did you pay attention during Trainspotting?
From
one Scots friend to another.......
You know you are a true
Scot if...........
1. Ye can properly pronounce
McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie,
Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty
and Aufurfuksake.
2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the
chippie.
3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.
4. Ye canna pass
a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.
5. Ye kin fall
about pished withoot spilling yer drink.
6. Ye see people wearin shell
suits with burberry accessories pure class!
7. Ye measure distance
in minutes.
8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just
like him, in yer ain family.
9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is
like gaun tae the ocean.
10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer
wurds.
11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating
it.
12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding
day date.
13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in
the
Church/Chapel.
14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas,
kebabs, fish n chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.
15.
Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
16. Ye know
irn-bru is a hangover cure.
17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae
dae sums.
18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer
pals .
19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these
words;
How's it hingin
Clatty
Boggin
Cludgie
Pished
Get
it up ye
Wee beasties
Erse bandit
Amurny
Away an bile yer heid
Peely-wally
Humphey backit
Ba'-heid
Baw bag
Dubble
nugget
And finally......
A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a
butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing
haunds ahint his back,
with his erse aimed at an electric fire.
The
wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire
bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm
heatin'.
one Scots friend to another.......
You know you are a true
Scot if...........
1. Ye can properly pronounce
McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie,
Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty
and Aufurfuksake.
2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the
chippie.
3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.
4. Ye canna pass
a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.
5. Ye kin fall
about pished withoot spilling yer drink.
6. Ye see people wearin shell
suits with burberry accessories pure class!
7. Ye measure distance
in minutes.
8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just
like him, in yer ain family.
9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is
like gaun tae the ocean.
10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer
wurds.
11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating
it.
12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding
day date.
13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in
the
Church/Chapel.
14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas,
kebabs, fish n chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.
15.
Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
16. Ye know
irn-bru is a hangover cure.
17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae
dae sums.
18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer
pals .
19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these
words;
How's it hingin
Clatty
Boggin
Cludgie
Pished
Get
it up ye
Wee beasties
Erse bandit
Amurny
Away an bile yer heid
Peely-wally
Humphey backit
Ba'-heid
Baw bag
Dubble
nugget
And finally......
A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a
butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing
haunds ahint his back,
with his erse aimed at an electric fire.
The
wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire
bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm
heatin'.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Annie's Day: Sodajerk Sees America, We See Scotland
Whilst we work out a wee financial problem with our host, friend Sodajerk
is very kindly letting us have a little space here.
is very kindly letting us have a little space here.
We hope we will do nothing to offend the brawny lad, but, considering how
we are, it's going to be tough.
we are, it's going to be tough.
Not that we dislike SJ or want to say anything bad about him. It's just
that we are one of the most ignorant, xenophobic Americans ever to stand about
in front of Edinburgh Castle and try to whistle the "Highland Fling."
that we are one of the most ignorant, xenophobic Americans ever to stand about
in front of Edinburgh Castle and try to whistle the "Highland Fling."
If this were audio, you could hear us say "HEEland Fling" because we once
heard it pronounced that way by Gordon Jackson on "Upstairs, Downstairs."
heard it pronounced that way by Gordon Jackson on "Upstairs, Downstairs."
Also, we've never stood about. We stand around. But we thought stand about
would be more authentic.
would be more authentic.
And the only reason we know what Edinburgh Castle is, is because we saw
"The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie" over and over again.
"The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie" over and over again.
If Sodajerk ever had to entertain us in person, we would say "Little gels,
little gels!" in a feeble imitation of Dame Maggie Smith in the title role of
that film. We would probably also go over her lines in all four Harry Potter
movies.
little gels!" in a feeble imitation of Dame Maggie Smith in the title role of
that film. We would probably also go over her lines in all four Harry Potter
movies.
And speaking of Harry, we would also ask Sodajerk what J.K. Rowling is
really like and what he thinks will happen in the next Potter book, although SJ
has precisely the same relationship to Ms. Rowling as we have to, say, Woody
Allen. Also SJ, good man that he is, has no interest in wee Harry.
really like and what he thinks will happen in the next Potter book, although SJ
has precisely the same relationship to Ms. Rowling as we have to, say, Woody
Allen. Also SJ, good man that he is, has no interest in wee Harry.
We're proud of ourselves. We just use "wee" again. Probably not
correctly.
correctly.
Anyway, Sodajerk, thanks for the use of the hall. We'll be sending along
another post soon. And we might mention that SJ himself seems to think that the
United States is, from one end to the other, filled with "King of the Hill"
types on the front yards and "Deliverance" types in the country. And dangerously
unstable sons of privilege in the federal government.
another post soon. And we might mention that SJ himself seems to think that the
United States is, from one end to the other, filled with "King of the Hill"
types on the front yards and "Deliverance" types in the country. And dangerously
unstable sons of privilege in the federal government.
That's unsettling. He's 3500 miles away, but it seems he got some things
right.
right.
Monday, August 28, 2006
i was gonna try and cobble together a rant.
about how the visitors to edinburgh for the festival should try and remember.edinburgh is only wee,while you are on yer holidays ,locals are still trying to go about their daily business.then i found this at devilskitchen.blogspot.com.sez it all and more really.
I have decided that I shall now adopt Tim Fitzhigham's epithet for Princess Toni: that's right, from now on, he's "Chuckles" Blair...
In other news, a bit of polite... ahem... advice for punters at the Fringe:
Other than the annoyances above, it's been a great Festival...
I
Yet more Fringes of society
I have decided that I shall now adopt Tim Fitzhigham's epithet for Princess Toni: that's right, from now on, he's "Chuckles" Blair...
In other news, a bit of polite... ahem... advice for punters at the Fringe:
- In
the name of god, if you must walk like an arthritic tortoise, please do
not take up the entire pavement/stairway/passage. Please leave a gap
for those of us who know where we are going to get through. - If
you are going to stop to talk to friends, do not stand right in the
fucking path of people needing to get in and out, nor right in a
doorway. This goes for staff too, particularly those at the Gilded
Balloon. - Bar managers: if the queue at the bar is five
deep, do not send two of your barstaff on their breaks at that time.
Wait until the crush has finished and people are not saying, loudly,
"how the hell do we get served in this place": they are not being
difficult, but they have been waiting quarter of an hour or more to get
served. - If you do not have the good grace to arrive at a
show on time, do at least have the courtesy to SHUT THE FUCK UP whilst
you are coming, late, into the auditorium. If you don't want to hear
what anyone is saying, do everyone else the favour of fucking off. - Do
not make comments to your mates throughout the show: I have come to
listen to the people onstage, not some fat fuck from Fife who won't
shut the fuck up. - Directors: if your show is shit and your
performers can't act, please, just don't bring the show up at all. If
you do, please do at least have the courtesy to warn everyone that this
is the case on your publicity. It's very nice that your Sixth Form
pupils want to come and perform at the Festival, but I don't think that
it is fair to fleece people for £8 to indulge your wards' egos.
Other than the annoyances above, it's been a great Festival...
I
Sunday, August 27, 2006
The Skids-Into The Valley
a classic song from a scottish band.listening to it justnow i realised i do not have a fuckin clue wot the singer is sayin.
now,thanks to Google,i do,
Skids Lyrics
- Into The Valley Lyrics
Into the valley
Betrothed and divine
Realisations no virtue
But who can define
Why soldiers go marching
Those masses a line
This disease is catching
From victory to stone
Ahoy! Ahoy! Land, sea and sky
Ahoy! Ahoy! Boy, man and soldier
Ahoy! Ahoy! Deceived and then punctured
Ahoy! Ahoy! Long may they die
Out of concealment
Blank and stark eyed
Why so uncertain
This culture deceives
Prophesised, brainwashed
Tomorrow's demise
All systems failing
The placards unroll
Ahoy! Ahoy! Land, sea and sky
Ahoy! Ahoy! Boy, man and soldier
Ahoy! Ahoy! Deceived and then punctured
Ahoy! Ahoy! Long may they die
Time for the audit
The gathering trial
A collector's dilemma
Repositioned and filed
the line long may they die,i always thot was ,lung nearly gave.
now,thanks to Google,i do,
Skids Lyrics
- Into The Valley Lyrics
Into the valley
Betrothed and divine
Realisations no virtue
But who can define
Why soldiers go marching
Those masses a line
This disease is catching
From victory to stone
Ahoy! Ahoy! Land, sea and sky
Ahoy! Ahoy! Boy, man and soldier
Ahoy! Ahoy! Deceived and then punctured
Ahoy! Ahoy! Long may they die
Out of concealment
Blank and stark eyed
Why so uncertain
This culture deceives
Prophesised, brainwashed
Tomorrow's demise
All systems failing
The placards unroll
Ahoy! Ahoy! Land, sea and sky
Ahoy! Ahoy! Boy, man and soldier
Ahoy! Ahoy! Deceived and then punctured
Ahoy! Ahoy! Long may they die
Time for the audit
The gathering trial
A collector's dilemma
Repositioned and filed
the line long may they die,i always thot was ,lung nearly gave.
is it just me
or does anyone else get totally pissed off with the folk that make goin aboot our daily business worse.
you know them the folk that thru bein loud,ignorant and obnoxious,can fuk up an otherwise good day.
sometimes i feel like,if i could just kick the livingcrap out of you dude,the world would be a better place.
but of course i dont,and that is why these fucks keep on ruining our days.
you know them the folk that thru bein loud,ignorant and obnoxious,can fuk up an otherwise good day.
sometimes i feel like,if i could just kick the livingcrap out of you dude,the world would be a better place.
but of course i dont,and that is why these fucks keep on ruining our days.
from Dlisted.best gossip site i have found yet
Coco and her husband, Ice-T,
dressed in their best to do a little shopping California. Coco really
should think about showing more skin. A girl of 27 should feel more
comfortable with her body.
If there was ever a clothing store called "Whores R Us" bitch would've bought that outfit there.
da joyriders
one of ma fave local bands.long gone sadly.
as is the Venue(gig place over here).shut coz of the yuppiefication of edinburgh.
scum,will be getting rocks thru dere windows.not from me of course ,i am a good boy,i am.
kinda Husker Du-ish,they were actually Grant Harts back up band when they played here.
as i say damn fine minneapolis style rawk.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMV_svkyQMM
as is the Venue(gig place over here).shut coz of the yuppiefication of edinburgh.
scum,will be getting rocks thru dere windows.not from me of course ,i am a good boy,i am.
kinda Husker Du-ish,they were actually Grant Harts back up band when they played here.
as i say damn fine minneapolis style rawk.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMV_svkyQMM
woah mama,
this bastard used to be head of the bosses union.
he used to go on tv sayin things like .yes the unemployed should be made to work for 50p a week, and i do not see the problem with outsourcing jobs to india ,it makes the economy stronger.
and yes job losses are hard,but it is a price worth paying for the good of the company.
http://politics.guardian.co.uk/publicservices/story/0,,1858833,00.html
he will no doubt get off,but it wil be nice to see him squirm for a bit.
he used to go on tv sayin things like .yes the unemployed should be made to work for 50p a week, and i do not see the problem with outsourcing jobs to india ,it makes the economy stronger.
and yes job losses are hard,but it is a price worth paying for the good of the company.
http://politics.guardian.co.uk/publicservices/story/0,,1858833,00.html
he will no doubt get off,but it wil be nice to see him squirm for a bit.
dats right
We're not a democracy. It's a terrible misunderstanding and a slander to the
idea of democracy to call us that. In reality, we're a plutocracy: a government
by the wealthy." : Ramsey Clark, former U.S. Attorney General
=
"Of
all forms of tyranny the least attractive and the most vulgar is the tyranny of
mere wealth, the tyranny of plutocracy" : John Pierpont Morgan
=
"I
hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our moneyed corporations,
which dare already to challenge our government to a trial of strength and bid
defiance to the laws of our country." : Thomas Jefferson
=
"I see in
the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble
for the safety of my country. As a result of the war, corporations have been
enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money
power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the
prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the
Republic is destroyed. I feel at this moment more anxiety for the safety of my
country than ever before, even in the midst of war. God grant that my suspicions
may prove groundless." U.S. President Abraham Lincoln, Nov. 21, 1864 - (letter
to Col. William F. Elkins) Ref: The Lincoln Encyclopedia, Archer H. Shaw -
(Macmillan, 1950, NY)
=
"The real truth of the matter is, as you and I
know, that a financial element in the large centers has owned the government of
the U.S. since the days of Andrew Jackson." : Franklin D. Roosevelt
idea of democracy to call us that. In reality, we're a plutocracy: a government
by the wealthy." : Ramsey Clark, former U.S. Attorney General
=
"Of
all forms of tyranny the least attractive and the most vulgar is the tyranny of
mere wealth, the tyranny of plutocracy" : John Pierpont Morgan
=
"I
hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our moneyed corporations,
which dare already to challenge our government to a trial of strength and bid
defiance to the laws of our country." : Thomas Jefferson
=
"I see in
the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble
for the safety of my country. As a result of the war, corporations have been
enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money
power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the
prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the
Republic is destroyed. I feel at this moment more anxiety for the safety of my
country than ever before, even in the midst of war. God grant that my suspicions
may prove groundless." U.S. President Abraham Lincoln, Nov. 21, 1864 - (letter
to Col. William F. Elkins) Ref: The Lincoln Encyclopedia, Archer H. Shaw -
(Macmillan, 1950, NY)
=
"The real truth of the matter is, as you and I
know, that a financial element in the large centers has owned the government of
the U.S. since the days of Andrew Jackson." : Franklin D. Roosevelt
woah mama,
this bastard used to be head of the bosses union.
he used to go on tv sayin things like .yes the unemployed should be made to work for 50p a week, and i do not see the problem with outsourcing jobs to india ,it makes the economy stronger.
and yes job losses are hard,but it is a price worth paying for the good of the company.
http://politics.guardian.co.uk/publicservices/story/0,,1858833,00.html
he will no doubt get off,but it wil be nice to see him squirm for a bit.
he used to go on tv sayin things like .yes the unemployed should be made to work for 50p a week, and i do not see the problem with outsourcing jobs to india ,it makes the economy stronger.
and yes job losses are hard,but it is a price worth paying for the good of the company.
http://politics.guardian.co.uk/publicservices/story/0,,1858833,00.html
he will no doubt get off,but it wil be nice to see him squirm for a bit.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Team America.
America...
America...
America, FUCK YEAH!
Coming again, to save the mother fucking day yeah,
America, FUCK YEAH!
Freedom is the only way yeah,
Terrorist your game is through cause now you have to answer too,
America, FUCK YEAH!
So lick my butt, and suck on my balls,
America, FUCK YEAH!
What you going to do when we come for you now,
it’s the dream that we all share; it’s the hope for tomorrow
FUCK YEAH!
McDonalds, FUCK YEAH!
Wal-Mart, FUCK YEAH!
The Gap, FUCK YEAH!
Baseball, FUCK YEAH!
NFL, FUCK, YEAH!
Rock and roll, FUCK YEAH!
The Internet, FUCK YEAH!
Slavery, FUCK YEAH!
FUCK YEAH!
Starbucks, FUCK YEAH!
Disney world, FUCK YEAH!
Porno, FUCK YEAH!
Valium, FUCK YEAH!
Reeboks, FUCK YEAH!
Fake Tits, FUCK YEAH!
Sushi, FUCK YEAH!
Taco Bell, FUCK YEAH!
Rodeos, FUCK YEAH!
Bed bath and beyond (Fuck yeah, Fuck yeah)
Liberty, FUCK YEAH!
White Slips, FUCK YEAH!
The Alamo, FUCK YEAH!
Band-aids, FUCK YEAH!
Las Vegas, FUCK YEAH!
Christmas, FUCK YEAH!
Immigrants, FUCK YEAH!
Popeye, FUCK YEAH!
Demarcates, FUCK YEAH!
Republicans (republicans)
(fuck yeah, fuck yeah)
Sportsmanship
Books
Journey(the band)
was havin a bit of a looksee at my favorit 2ndhand cd store.goin thru A-Z,see if anythingtakes my fancy.
i got to J,and there was a cd.Captured by Journey.it had the song mentioned by Mike,Wheel in the sky.only £6,dunno wot that is in dollars,not much.so i bought it.
got hame gave it a blast,i have to say a few good songs on there.
Lights,Wheel in the sky,Anyway you want it.
i wont make the lighter/thumb burning mistake agin.
AOR in small doses is okay,too much......i dread to think.
i got to J,and there was a cd.Captured by Journey.it had the song mentioned by Mike,Wheel in the sky.only £6,dunno wot that is in dollars,not much.so i bought it.
got hame gave it a blast,i have to say a few good songs on there.
Lights,Wheel in the sky,Anyway you want it.
i wont make the lighter/thumb burning mistake agin.
AOR in small doses is okay,too much......i dread to think.
tony blairs kid
i read in the papers that his son has got accepted
for a course at Yale university.
was that not the one Dubya went to?
well done tony,you sold yer country down the river
so yer kid could get a better education.
thanks tony.
btw when he leaves office i bet he ends up with a cushy job at some Bushco related company.
he does not have a single shred of integrity left,was it worth it?
all the sucking up,sucking off,toadying,brown nosing just so he can go "Yo,Blair" and expose you for the sycophantic little fuck that you are.
for a course at Yale university.
was that not the one Dubya went to?
well done tony,you sold yer country down the river
so yer kid could get a better education.
thanks tony.
btw when he leaves office i bet he ends up with a cushy job at some Bushco related company.
he does not have a single shred of integrity left,was it worth it?
all the sucking up,sucking off,toadying,brown nosing just so he can go "Yo,Blair" and expose you for the sycophantic little fuck that you are.
warning-cute overload.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sg9x5mUjbH8
it is wee bunnies.awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
it is wee bunnies.awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
goin to work y'day(scuse language)
only me 1/3 of way
down bus,and 2 old folk right down front.
down bus,and 2 old folk right down front.
tw@t gets on and sits diagonally opposite me one seat
down,
down,
right out at the
edge of his seat in the aisle and sideways.
edge of his seat in the aisle and sideways.
right away he starts
sniffin,snortin and coffin w'out coverin his mooth.
sniffin,snortin and coffin w'out coverin his mooth.
fuk this thinks
i,and gets up and moves to back of t'bus,where i cannot hear his phlegm
fest.
i,and gets up and moves to back of t'bus,where i cannot hear his phlegm
fest.
when i am getting
off his legs are now totally closin the aisle.feet touchin the seat on the other
side.
off his legs are now totally closin the aisle.feet touchin the seat on the other
side.
i accidentally
cracked his legs a shot with ma bag to get past.
cracked his legs a shot with ma bag to get past.
i coulda said excuse
me ,but he was a dick ,so why should i.
me ,but he was a dick ,so why should i.
his own fault
really.
really.
**********************************************************************
how old is he?fuckin frat boy.
Quotes
"Word is, he likes to gas a couple, and then
bring the
aide in and see what the kid's face
looks like."
--U.S. News & Whore Report's Paul Bedard saying when
Dubya meets a new aide
he
raises one leg and farts to watch for the kid's reaction,
Link
We have 2600 dead soldiers in his World war, a ruined economy and trillions
in debt
because this ignorant nine seven year
old is running the world?
Office?
Okkkay.
just a wee note to any american readers.i aint overly pickin on Dubya.i think Poodle Boy Blair is just as bad,but as he has been on his hols since i strted ramblin,dere aint been much aboot him in da news.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
she must have ignored the sign.
A woman sunbathing at Compton Bay on the Isle of Wight had a narrow
escape when a cow fell 16 metres (50ft) off a cliff to its death and
landed where she had been lying moments earlier.Sally Brown, 51, of Cowes, had just picked up her body board when
she heard a loud noise as the animal hurtled down a cliff. She said
later: "It would have killed me if it landed on me." Jane Phillips, of
Compton Farm, apologised, adding: "It doesn't bear thinking about what
would have happened if it had landed on her."
(from j-walkblog.pom)
i bet it was Rummy.
In the heart of Tehran sits one of Iran's most important
nuclear facilities, a dome-shaped building where scientists have
conducted secret experiments that could help the country build atomic
bombs. It was provided to the Iranians by the United States.
Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.(last bit,a quote from Dubya.)
a National Treasure.
Quotes
I'm not proud that I have ADD or that
I'm dyslexic.
I'm not proud that I'm a drug addict
and a drunk,
but things could be a lot worse - I
could be Sting."
-- Ozzy Osborne
how to detect BS.(a handy link for life,maybe).
http://www.scottberkun.com/essays/essay53.htm
i aint read it all,but i wanna watch a video before i have to hit the hay.
may be some good info,may be BS itself.
if you dont click on it ,you will never know.
as will i.
who will read it when "rhe man"is paying me.
another little victory for me,helps get me thru da day.
i aint read it all,but i wanna watch a video before i have to hit the hay.
may be some good info,may be BS itself.
if you dont click on it ,you will never know.
as will i.
who will read it when "rhe man"is paying me.
another little victory for me,helps get me thru da day.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
DOCTORS' SLANG, MEDICAL SLANG AND MEDICAL ACRONYMS
find out what yer medical chart REALLY says to other medical staff.
http://messybeast.com/dragonqueen/medical-acronyms.htm
http://messybeast.com/dragonqueen/medical-acronyms.htm
a nice link ,if you like Warner Bros stuff
http://hellonfriscobay.blogspot.com/2006/08/friz-freleng-for-all.html
Dilbert guy is cool.
Benefits of Getting Old
I don’t know of anyone over the age of 18 who wants to get older,
despite all the studies showing that older people are happier than
younger ones. I’ve always wondered why the elderly are so content, and
now that I’m getting older myself, the mysteries are beginning to
unfold.
For example, ten minutes ago I wanted to walk from my home to my
office, all of 47 seconds away. (Yes, I timed it.) I was wearing black
socks because I just came from getting a suit altered. There on the
floor in the foyer were my sandals. Do I bother to take off the black
socks before putting on the sandals? Ha! That’s thinking like a 25-year
old. I just slipped my black socked feet into those babies and took off
without a hint of shame.
I’m not yet at the age where I can wear a fishing hat, ball-high
shorts, black socks and sandals all the time, but it was a nice little
preview of things to come. Plus, now that I’m married I can eat all I
want and dress any way I please – at least until my wife starts
insisting we need a pool boy despite having no pool.
Being older has many advantages. My favorite one is that I get
automatic respect without earning it. That’s sweet. I could say to the
young ice cream shop vendor “Give me two scoops of vanilla, turd-boy,”
and he would probably say, “Very good, sir. Coming up!” The world isn’t
fair, but as long as it’s tilting in my direction I find that there’s a
natural cap to my righteous indignation.
The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked
out. Sure, there’s a lot more living to go, but there isn’t much doubt
that I’ll always be the “Dilbert guy.” Unless I go on a crime spree, in
which case I’ll be “that stabbin’ Dilbert guy.”
But when you’re 25, you are filled with curiosity about your own
future. Will you become a captain of industry or will you drown in your
own vomit? There are so many options. But the only thing you really
need to know in advance is whether you will someday run for public
office. If that’s an option, you don’t want any of your orifices to be
involved in anything you wouldn’t tell your mother.
Another bonus of advanced age is the accumulation of generally
useless knowledge that is nonetheless impressive. After about the age
of 40 you start hearing a lot of “How did you know THAT?” If you sum up
all of the facts in your head plus your awesome powers of inference
plus your exceptional skill at bullshitting, you look like a psychic to
anyone under 20.
That’s why after I call the ice cream vendor “turd-boy” I follow up
with “You’re thinking of spitting in my ice cream now, aren’t you?”
Then he says something like “Whoa, dude! How did you do that?”
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
it was damn close.
i had been listening to Journey for 5 straight hours,i had gone thru 3 lighters and my thumb was burnt.
at the last minute,with the last free thought i had,i clicked on Skynyrd.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.sing it pretty for Atlanta.
let my near trip to the dark side be a warning kids.
just say no to AOR.
at the last minute,with the last free thought i had,i clicked on Skynyrd.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.sing it pretty for Atlanta.
let my near trip to the dark side be a warning kids.
just say no to AOR.
is he drunk?
http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2006/08/ooh-president-flustered-mcangrypants.html
Thanks for the link Mike
if you have been good enuff to visit,dont be afraid to come back again.....it will get better.
today i have a day off..................i was gonna go up toon and look aboot HMV/Virgin(record shops)but i was at my docta y'day(dont worry,the baby is fine).and i was on the bus and i thot ,wait a mo,we get a flexi-time credit if we are at the docs,that takes us back to when we usually get in.
so i decided to go shoppin,on company time ,mwoohahahaha.
got a few Cds.Poison Idea,Molly Hatchet(greatest hits)who among us has not played air guitar to "Boogie No more" and "Flirtin With Disaster"......okay,so that would be everyone.....also got a compilation CD with loads of old Punk/New wave(http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B000FL7BKG/026-5101918-0515607?v=glance&n=229816)
some dross ,but mainly the goodstuff.it hs "another girl,another planet"worth the price of admission alone,
today i have a day off..................i was gonna go up toon and look aboot HMV/Virgin(record shops)but i was at my docta y'day(dont worry,the baby is fine).and i was on the bus and i thot ,wait a mo,we get a flexi-time credit if we are at the docs,that takes us back to when we usually get in.
so i decided to go shoppin,on company time ,mwoohahahaha.
got a few Cds.Poison Idea,Molly Hatchet(greatest hits)who among us has not played air guitar to "Boogie No more" and "Flirtin With Disaster"......okay,so that would be everyone.....also got a compilation CD with loads of old Punk/New wave(http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B000FL7BKG/026-5101918-0515607?v=glance&n=229816)
some dross ,but mainly the goodstuff.it hs "another girl,another planet"worth the price of admission alone,
Sunday, August 20, 2006
gettin older
one ofthe best thangs,is that you dont have to give a shit wot other folk think about yer tastes.be it music ,fashion or wotever.
for example tonite i have been listenin to.........Black Flag,Journey,the Monkees,Marah then Johnny Thunders.
laff if you wanna ,i could not give a single ,solitary fuck.
for example tonite i have been listenin to.........Black Flag,Journey,the Monkees,Marah then Johnny Thunders.
laff if you wanna ,i could not give a single ,solitary fuck.
marah- one of my fave bands
Round Eye Blues
Last night I closed my eyes
And watched the tracers fly
Through the jungle trees
Like fireflies on a windy night
Pulled up and onward by the breeze
I can still hear the far off tin-canny sounds
Of their machine guns come unwound
And I was shakin’ like Little Richard
And I was sweatin’ like ol’ James Brown
Over by my window sill
The moon was still
On my cigarettes and wine
Sometimes there’s wear I pray to Jesus
Sometimes there’s where I pray to die
But I could still sense the circling danger
Of those invisible bastards of a piss-hot day
I was shakin’ with ol’ Proud Mary
I was sittin’ on the dock of the bay
Take the hits boys take the hits
Don’t smoke your bible and don’t lose your wits
Because the sky is filled with shrapnel
And your eyes are filled with tears
Hold your breath boys hold your breath
Finger your trigger and welcome death
Because the chopper’s filled with your gut-shot friends
Your hearts are filled with fear
Fables tell of men who fell
With swords dangling from their chest
The old guys down at the taproom swear
The Japs could kill you best
But late at night I could still hear the cries
Of three black guys I seen take it in the face
I think about them sweet Motown girls they left behind
And the assholes that took their place
Take the hits boys take the hits
Don’t smoke your bottle and don’t lose your wits
Because the sky is filled with shrapnel
And your eyes are filled with tears
Hold your breath boys hold your breath
Finger your trigger and welcome death
Because the chopper’s filled with your gut-shot friends
Your hearts are filled with fear
terrurists,schmerrurists.
http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/dave_hill/2006/08/fear_and_disbelief.html
i think most of it is bogus anyhoo.
our gubbernments tryin to scare the beejaysuss out of us ,so we do not
notice how much of a fuckin mess they are makin of everything else.
i think most of it is bogus anyhoo.
our gubbernments tryin to scare the beejaysuss out of us ,so we do not
notice how much of a fuckin mess they are makin of everything else.
PEE PEE /POO POO ,WHO KNEW?
o unborn babies urinate/defecate in the womb?
18-Aug-2006
Dear Cecil:
Do unborn babies pee and/or defecate in the womb? --Realtime, via e-mail
Cecil replies:
That's two questions, so two answers. Number one: yes, and it's a good thing they do.
Number two: yes, but you better hope they don't.
Fetal urination is normal. It's part of that "miracle of life" folderol the
nature programs exalt just before they hit you with something you'd rather not know.
Naturally, fetal urine isn't quite the same as yours or mine. It does contain urea, but
much of the nitrogenous waste enters maternal circulation for mama to clean up. Fetal
urine isn't yellow, either. Fetuses and newborns lack enzymes to convert bile pigments to
urobilin, which colors the output of older children and adults.
Urine production begins late in the first trimester, about the same time the two-inch
embryo becomes a fetus. In the second half of pregnancy, fetal urine is an important
constituent of amniotic fluid. By the time the kid is about ready to pop out, he or she is
passing roughly a liter a day. Where does it go? Seems kids learn the benefits of
recycling early on--they swallow it. They'd better, too, lest polyhydramnios (a
potentially dangerous buildup of fluid volume) result. When fetal urination is impaired,
the opposite complication, oligohydramnios, usually occurs.
Fetal defecation isn't normal, but fetuses do accumulate a mass of greenish feces,
called meconium, in their intestines. Unlike the adult version, meconium is sterile and
odorless, though still pretty icky, and the sight of it in the newborn nursery starkly
reminds a new parent--not infrequently dad, since mom at this point is often out of
it--that his life has entered a dramatic new phase. (Nurses invariably offer to clean
things up. Let 'em.) I know what you're thinking: there's nothing much to nosh on in
there, so where's this stuff coming from? Various endogenous and swallowed sources: mucus,
bile, intestinal epithelial cells, lanugo (fine body hairs that are normally shed before
birth), and vernix caseosa (a lubricating sebaceous secretion of the skin).
Fetuses usually don't pass meconium until after birth, but doing so in the womb isn't
rare. Around 12 percent of fetuses have meconium-stained amniotic fluid (MSAF), colored
yellow or green by bile pigments in the meconium--an indication that junior couldn't wait.
The more prolonged the pregnancy, the greater the risk. In postterm births (those
occurring after 42 weeks), the rate of meconium staining is about a quarter to a half. Why
is this a concern? Fetuses take amniotic fluid into their lungs, and in a minority of MSAF
cases, passed meconium enters the airway before birth and afterward leads to respiratory
symptoms collectively called meconium aspiration syndrome (MAS). MAS can be fatal,
although the rate of deaths is falling in developed countries--in part due to better
treatments, but mostly because labor is now more likely to be induced if pregnancy drags
on.
jogging
no not me.
guy down the road,when i see him goin for a jog ,he does aboot 15 minutes of stretching(at least that is how long it seems).i mean for fucks sake, why?
he is only jogging around th block,not in the fuckin olympics.
guy down the road,when i see him goin for a jog ,he does aboot 15 minutes of stretching(at least that is how long it seems).i mean for fucks sake, why?
he is only jogging around th block,not in the fuckin olympics.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
he is not insane,honest injun.
By using the favorite neoconservative phrase,
"Islamic fascists," George W. Bush indicates
that he now shares the extremist notion that
the United States is engaged in a "World War III"
against militants within the world's one billion
Muslims.
Ivan Eland suggests that
Bush's enemy list may be expanding beyond control:
"Islamic fascists," George W. Bush indicates
that he now shares the extremist notion that
the United States is engaged in a "World War III"
against militants within the world's one billion
Muslims.
Despite the U.S. disaster in Iraq and the Israeli
failure in Lebanon, Bush also seems to believe
that applications of high-tech violence, such
as targeted bombings, can succeed in this ill-defined
conflict -- although civilian casualties from
air attacks are certain to simply recruit more Islamic
extremists determined to kill Westerners.
Ivan Eland suggests that
Bush's enemy list may be expanding beyond control:
powered by performancing firefox
powered by performancing firefox
banjo sinner
http://www.whitetreeaz.com/vintage/tract.htm
a cautionary tale,for one and all.
a cautionary tale,for one and all.
powered by performancing firefox
powered by performancing firefox
powered by performancing firefox
a guide to the middle east
http://www.slate.com/features/2006mideast/middleeast.html
i can never remember who is agin who.
with this handy guide it is simple.
i can never remember who is agin who.
with this handy guide it is simple.
powered by performancing firefox
Friday, August 18, 2006
kelly bundy
there was a girl who looked like kelly bundy at ma bus stop this morn.
takes 5 hours to get that,just got out of bed look.
bleached blonde ,straw like hair...............check.
spray on ,low slung jeans...........................check.
ankle breakingly high heels.......................check.
too much fake tan and make up...............check.
only one more thing.....................as her bus arrives,in her haste,she was on her third fone call since i had been there.............she drops her bus pass,as she stoops to pick it up,her t-shirt lifts a tad to reveal...................................(drum roll)...................a "tramp stamp".
in these here parts,at that time of the day(8.15 am) that means she is either a hairdressr or a ho(wannabe).it seems to be "the look" over here at da mo"dunno why).i aint complainin or critisizin....................just observin,just observin .
takes 5 hours to get that,just got out of bed look.
bleached blonde ,straw like hair...............check.
spray on ,low slung jeans...........................check.
ankle breakingly high heels.......................check.
too much fake tan and make up...............check.
only one more thing.....................as her bus arrives,in her haste,she was on her third fone call since i had been there.............she drops her bus pass,as she stoops to pick it up,her t-shirt lifts a tad to reveal...................................(drum roll)...................a "tramp stamp".
in these here parts,at that time of the day(8.15 am) that means she is either a hairdressr or a ho(wannabe).it seems to be "the look" over here at da mo"dunno why).i aint complainin or critisizin....................just observin,just observin .
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
mobile phones
a useful invention,i even have one myself.if you are running late,you can send a text to let the other person/people know.
but do you really need fancy ringtones?,and is informing someone that you will be home in 2 minutes really important?
and Mr suit and tie guy,you are talking to yer work,trying to impress the rest of the bus with your
important job.
newsflash buddy,yer on the same fuckin bus as me,so you aint no high flyin executive............and i bet,all you have in that expensive briefcase is some sandwiches,a daily paper and an apple.and i dont mean the computer.
but do you really need fancy ringtones?,and is informing someone that you will be home in 2 minutes really important?
and Mr suit and tie guy,you are talking to yer work,trying to impress the rest of the bus with your
important job.
newsflash buddy,yer on the same fuckin bus as me,so you aint no high flyin executive............and i bet,all you have in that expensive briefcase is some sandwiches,a daily paper and an apple.and i dont mean the computer.
wally
it is fair to say i have a pretty relaxed approach to work.
i figure if they expected more out of me,they would pay me a decent wage.so if i spend a fair
amount of the day reading blogs,surfing the web and sending personal emails,then that is fine.
the charachter Wally ,in the cartoon Dilbert ,has the sort of approach i am talking aboot.
i dont see it so much as skiving ,more as personal development.and a way of stopping my head exploding...........its working so far,unlike me.
i figure if they expected more out of me,they would pay me a decent wage.so if i spend a fair
amount of the day reading blogs,surfing the web and sending personal emails,then that is fine.
the charachter Wally ,in the cartoon Dilbert ,has the sort of approach i am talking aboot.
i dont see it so much as skiving ,more as personal development.and a way of stopping my head exploding...........its working so far,unlike me.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Driving's Cool
there is a company,in these here parts called Driving's Cool........and it is a Driving School.so you can see how they cleverly came up with the name.
yet every time i see one of their cars i want to throw bricks at it,or run into the road and aim a few kicks at it.
it is just such a smug fuckin name,i should not let it bug me,but too late.
i cannot drive myself,so i figure if i book about 10 lessons and really smash up a car each time................"oh ,the middle one is the brake"...i can put em outa business......at least for a wee while.
yet every time i see one of their cars i want to throw bricks at it,or run into the road and aim a few kicks at it.
it is just such a smug fuckin name,i should not let it bug me,but too late.
i cannot drive myself,so i figure if i book about 10 lessons and really smash up a car each time................"oh ,the middle one is the brake"...i can put em outa business......at least for a wee while.
Edinburgh today
day off today ,had some stuff to get sorted.unfortunately it was in the city centre.
the streets were hoachin with folk/tourists/performers,all tryin to get to where they were goin.the answer was nowhere fast.
i inadvertently got stuck in a queue for a show,i thot it was just a slow movin pack of tourists.
oh well,at least i was not at work.
i think i may have seen a comedian from the telly,but i aint 100% sure.once you realise who you think it is ,they are usually well gone.
the streets were hoachin with folk/tourists/performers,all tryin to get to where they were goin.the answer was nowhere fast.
i inadvertently got stuck in a queue for a show,i thot it was just a slow movin pack of tourists.
oh well,at least i was not at work.
i think i may have seen a comedian from the telly,but i aint 100% sure.once you realise who you think it is ,they are usually well gone.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
hair
what is it with hair?
when we are young,it grows in the right place ie yer heid.
as we get older,it starts to change location.for guys ,well me anyway,it starts fallin out aff yer heid and begins sprouting in places where you really have no need for it.
nose,ears ,ear lobes ,back.
and the girlies dont escape either.start gettin facial hair,harier forearms and legs.
i really do not see why it just dont stay where it started.
as far as i am aware other bits do not start moving about eg brain and kidneys swappin position.
we are poorly designed.
when we are young,it grows in the right place ie yer heid.
as we get older,it starts to change location.for guys ,well me anyway,it starts fallin out aff yer heid and begins sprouting in places where you really have no need for it.
nose,ears ,ear lobes ,back.
and the girlies dont escape either.start gettin facial hair,harier forearms and legs.
i really do not see why it just dont stay where it started.
as far as i am aware other bits do not start moving about eg brain and kidneys swappin position.
we are poorly designed.
Note to UF
before yer next vacation.can u get yerself a Blackberry or some similar gizmo ,so you can post summat on a daily basis.
i need my daily fix of the good stuff.
even post just a line a day(no drug reference intended....................................sniff)
i need my daily fix of the good stuff.
even post just a line a day(no drug reference intended....................................sniff)
Saturday, August 12, 2006
The Poodle
reading da papers there.read an interesting quote from mr tony.
he was asked,and i am paraphrasinghere,how he felt about being responsible for the deaths of 100,000 iraqis.
his reply.
i think you will find it is actually nearer 50,000.
the man is a complete and utter fuckin cunt.
he was asked,and i am paraphrasinghere,how he felt about being responsible for the deaths of 100,000 iraqis.
his reply.
i think you will find it is actually nearer 50,000.
the man is a complete and utter fuckin cunt.
creepy old dude
no,not me.this guy about 70 was totally sleazing on the girl that works in the local newsagent.he was like the old dude in Family Guy who likes Chris.it fair gave me the heebeegeebees.mind you,i think he wanted to give her the willies.
Omlette
if i am being honest,i will have to say i am a pretty poor cook.on 2 occasions i have actually burnt water.but last nite,before i went out,i made pretty much the perfect omlette.
normally there would be a lousy mess of eggs,with some shell in there.but after mentioning my lack of success to someone(thanks Mom)i got a coupla hints,et viola......my best omlette ever.
(is that how you spell omlette?it looks wrong.just like most of my previous omlettes.....aHaHAHAHaHa,oh.i slay me.)("if only"a heckling voice from the back of the blog).
normally there would be a lousy mess of eggs,with some shell in there.but after mentioning my lack of success to someone(thanks Mom)i got a coupla hints,et viola......my best omlette ever.
(is that how you spell omlette?it looks wrong.just like most of my previous omlettes.....aHaHAHAHaHa,oh.i slay me.)("if only"a heckling voice from the back of the blog).
Friday, August 11, 2006
not summat you see every day
there was a lassie doing ballet in the street.using a rail as a impromptu bar.
she was really rather good.
this was outside the OffLicense(booze shop)where i was buying my dinner,not up town.
she may have been inspired by the festival,or maybe just bored waiting for her pal/boyf.
she was really rather good.
this was outside the OffLicense(booze shop)where i was buying my dinner,not up town.
she may have been inspired by the festival,or maybe just bored waiting for her pal/boyf.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Edinburgh Festival(notes from a local)
The Shows - 90% are crap and the other 10% are sold out before you even hear about em.if you wanna come to the fest,start surfin early and try to book online.
The Weather - unreliable.can go from sun to rain and back to sun again before you have a chance to get sorted clothes wise.no actual seasons across here,just kinda blaaaaah all year round.never very cold in august tho.
Drinking - very easy during the Festival.24-7 if you want to.which leads onto ......
Food - Restaurants to suit pretty much every taste.i would recommend trying a local Fish and Chip shop at least once tho,known as a "chippy".the best ones seem to be run by folk of Italian heritage.best to go for a Fish Supper/mince pie supper.basically fish/mince pie and chips.you will be asked if you want "zaltansoz"this translates to "salt and sauce".only served in chippys in Edinburgh and surrounding nearby districts.if you dont jump in quick enuff,you will get it anyway.the sauce is chippy sauce,a vinegarry tangy sauce.an acquired taste maybe, but most locals swear by it.very good after a night on the booze.also worth buying a can or bottle of Irn-Bru for the morning after.a scottish soft drink which helps cure hangovers.
Transport - edinburgh is not very big ,but it is quite hilly.if you are a lazy git ,like me.best to pick up either a bus pass,or daily ticket(£quite cheap,for unlimited travel).for the local busses.the red ones are the best,altho,watch out for packs of European tourists.they seem to travel in groups of 40 or so,and can turn a quiet bus trip into a living hell.
only other thing to say is that all the prices of everything go up for the festival period,big shocka.so if you just wanna see edinburgh itself give the fest a miss.
The Weather - unreliable.can go from sun to rain and back to sun again before you have a chance to get sorted clothes wise.no actual seasons across here,just kinda blaaaaah all year round.never very cold in august tho.
Drinking - very easy during the Festival.24-7 if you want to.which leads onto ......
Food - Restaurants to suit pretty much every taste.i would recommend trying a local Fish and Chip shop at least once tho,known as a "chippy".the best ones seem to be run by folk of Italian heritage.best to go for a Fish Supper/mince pie supper.basically fish/mince pie and chips.you will be asked if you want "zaltansoz"this translates to "salt and sauce".only served in chippys in Edinburgh and surrounding nearby districts.if you dont jump in quick enuff,you will get it anyway.the sauce is chippy sauce,a vinegarry tangy sauce.an acquired taste maybe, but most locals swear by it.very good after a night on the booze.also worth buying a can or bottle of Irn-Bru for the morning after.a scottish soft drink which helps cure hangovers.
Transport - edinburgh is not very big ,but it is quite hilly.if you are a lazy git ,like me.best to pick up either a bus pass,or daily ticket(£quite cheap,for unlimited travel).for the local busses.the red ones are the best,altho,watch out for packs of European tourists.they seem to travel in groups of 40 or so,and can turn a quiet bus trip into a living hell.
only other thing to say is that all the prices of everything go up for the festival period,big shocka.so if you just wanna see edinburgh itself give the fest a miss.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Preview/Tomorrow.
Tips on how to survive and have fun at the Edinburgh Festival.(wadda ya mean you aint heard of it?heathens).
Public Transport
it would be perfect,if you did not have to mingle with other members of the general public.
C.R.A.F.T Meetings
i was asked,no actually told to get in early for a "really important meeting".i hauled myself outa my pit,i am not a morning person,and actually got to work in time for the meeting.after aboot 5 minutes i realised it had nowt whatsoever to do with my job.so i kinda zoned out,switched off.
30 long,long minutes the meeting was over,and i realised i C0uld Not Remember A Fuckin Thing that had been said. hence it was a C.R.A.F.T meeting.
oh well,it improved my flexi time.
30 long,long minutes the meeting was over,and i realised i C0uld Not Remember A Fuckin Thing that had been said. hence it was a C.R.A.F.T meeting.
oh well,it improved my flexi time.
Thankee again Annie
it has been pointed out to me,that i had set up
the comments bit wrong.
i think i have sorted it.
the comments bit wrong.
i think i have sorted it.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
The UF Blog
i am basically a creature of habit.i get into work in the morn,fire up thePC.
first,check my emails..........only work related,they can wait.
log into Unremitting Failure to check out the posts and the comments.
with Mike on his hols,i think,i now have spare time on my hands.
that is where this here blog comes in.dunno how long it will go for. or what
the content will be.a blatant rip-off of other sites and links pinched there from.
i care not for spelling or punctuation.
that'll do for noo.
first,check my emails..........only work related,they can wait.
log into Unremitting Failure to check out the posts and the comments.
with Mike on his hols,i think,i now have spare time on my hands.
that is where this here blog comes in.dunno how long it will go for. or what
the content will be.a blatant rip-off of other sites and links pinched there from.
i care not for spelling or punctuation.
that'll do for noo.
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