even more from the Dilbert guy.(i am on a day off,plus it is a gazillion times better than what i could come up with).

Here now, more true tales of Induhviduals as reported by vigilant DNRC members:




There was a question in our company newsletter asking about whether
they could water the flowers in the bathrooms since they were looking
wilted and sick. The response was "The flowers are artificial."
[Editor’s note: Evidently some employee created a restroom gas cloud
powerful enough to wilt artificial plants. You have to admire that on
some level.]



==


Our health teacher told us that "1 out of 3 people who start
smoking will eventually die." The other two apparently became immortal.



==


So a few friends and I were at a museum, and they had this wall
of analog clocks with a city name written under each one, showing what
time it was around the world. We had about ten clocks in view, when my
friend looks at a clock, looks at his watch, looks at the clock again,
and says, “Well, this one’s pretty close, but all the others are way
off.”



==


One week, we had the Land O' Lakes brand on sale and a customer
came, and asked for one pound of store brand cheese. Trying to be
helpful, I told her that we had the Land O' Lakes cheese on sale for
cheaper. She asked me what the difference was, and I told her that Land
O' Lakes was better. Her response: "I'll take a pound of the [store]
cheese."



==


We were interviewing a new recruit and the owner of the company
made this statement during the interview: "I believe people are more
fragile than eggs, and if it were up to me, I would rather play with my
eggs." It took quite a bit of restraint not to burst out in hysterical
fits of laughter.



==


While working for a leather company, we were chatting in the
lab about food. One of the other lab technicians pondered aloud, "I
wonder why you never get the skin on beef?"



==


Every time my husband gets a new temp assignment, he gets a new
security badge. The temp stands against the wall and the camera –
generally in a fixed position – snaps the ID photo. My husband uses a
wheelchair. So his security picture features the blank wall above his
head.



==



On a canal boating holiday, the boat had a shower, with a stirrup pump that pumped excess water through the side of the hull.



A friend (an engineer) asked “Why didn't they put the hole in the bottom of the boat?”



==


I went to a local pizza restaurant and asked about the
difference between a large and a medium pizza. The Induhvidual told me
the large pizza had 10 slices and the medium had 8 slices. I told her
to take one of the large pizzas, cut it into 8 slices, and I would pay
for a medium. She just stared at me like I had asked her a question
about Euclidian Geometry.



==


I went into my local bookstore and explained I needed Mein
Kampf by Adolf Hitler for a politics essay, the woman behind the desk
said "Is it a new release?"



==


In the interview, which had been going very well up to this
point, the interviewer asked, "Why do you want to leave your current
job?" In my Induhvidual moment, I responded "It's too much work."
Needless to say I didn't get any further consideration.



==


A few of us were talking about fighter planes and one of my
friends asked, "If a plane is going faster than the speed of a bullet
when it fires, does the bullet come out the back of the plane?" We were
all surprised when he failed out of the engineering program the
following semester.



==


I was paying my cell phone bill with a debit card. The
Induhvidual behind the counter carefully checked my signature with the
one on the card. I guess that’s to prevent people from stealing wallets
and going around paying the victim’s bills.







Here now, more true tales of Induhviduals as reported by vigilant DNRC members:




There was a question in our company newsletter asking about whether
they could water the flowers in the bathrooms since they were looking
wilted and sick. The response was "The flowers are artificial."
[Editor’s note: Evidently some employee created a restroom gas cloud
powerful enough to wilt artificial plants. You have to admire that on
some level.]



==


Our health teacher told us that "1 out of 3 people who start
smoking will eventually die." The other two apparently became immortal.



==


So a few friends and I were at a museum, and they had this wall
of analog clocks with a city name written under each one, showing what
time it was around the world. We had about ten clocks in view, when my
friend looks at a clock, looks at his watch, looks at the clock again,
and says, “Well, this one’s pretty close, but all the others are way
off.”



==


One week, we had the Land O' Lakes brand on sale and a customer
came, and asked for one pound of store brand cheese. Trying to be
helpful, I told her that we had the Land O' Lakes cheese on sale for
cheaper. She asked me what the difference was, and I told her that Land
O' Lakes was better. Her response: "I'll take a pound of the [store]
cheese."



==


We were interviewing a new recruit and the owner of the company
made this statement during the interview: "I believe people are more
fragile than eggs, and if it were up to me, I would rather play with my
eggs." It took quite a bit of restraint not to burst out in hysterical
fits of laughter.



==


While working for a leather company, we were chatting in the
lab about food. One of the other lab technicians pondered aloud, "I
wonder why you never get the skin on beef?"



==


Every time my husband gets a new temp assignment, he gets a new
security badge. The temp stands against the wall and the camera –
generally in a fixed position – snaps the ID photo. My husband uses a
wheelchair. So his security picture features the blank wall above his
head.



==



On a canal boating holiday, the boat had a shower, with a stirrup pump that pumped excess water through the side of the hull.



A friend (an engineer) asked “Why didn't they put the hole in the bottom of the boat?”



==


I went to a local pizza restaurant and asked about the
difference between a large and a medium pizza. The Induhvidual told me
the large pizza had 10 slices and the medium had 8 slices. I told her
to take one of the large pizzas, cut it into 8 slices, and I would pay
for a medium. She just stared at me like I had asked her a question
about Euclidian Geometry.



==


I went into my local bookstore and explained I needed Mein
Kampf by Adolf Hitler for a politics essay, the woman behind the desk
said "Is it a new release?"



==


In the interview, which had been going very well up to this
point, the interviewer asked, "Why do you want to leave your current
job?" In my Induhvidual moment, I responded "It's too much work."
Needless to say I didn't get any further consideration.



==


A few of us were talking about fighter planes and one of my
friends asked, "If a plane is going faster than the speed of a bullet
when it fires, does the bullet come out the back of the plane?" We were
all surprised when he failed out of the engineering program the
following semester.



==


I was paying my cell phone bill with a debit card. The
Induhvidual behind the counter carefully checked my signature with the
one on the card. I guess that’s to prevent people from stealing wallets
and going around paying the victim’s bills.







Here now, more true tales of Induhviduals as reported by vigilant DNRC members:




There was a question in our company newsletter asking about whether
they could water the flowers in the bathrooms since they were looking
wilted and sick. The response was "The flowers are artificial."
[Editor’s note: Evidently some employee created a restroom gas cloud
powerful enough to wilt artificial plants. You have to admire that on
some level.]



==


Our health teacher told us that "1 out of 3 people who start
smoking will eventually die." The other two apparently became immortal.



==


So a few friends and I were at a museum, and they had this wall
of analog clocks with a city name written under each one, showing what
time it was around the world. We had about ten clocks in view, when my
friend looks at a clock, looks at his watch, looks at the clock again,
and says, “Well, this one’s pretty close, but all the others are way
off.”



==


One week, we had the Land O' Lakes brand on sale and a customer
came, and asked for one pound of store brand cheese. Trying to be
helpful, I told her that we had the Land O' Lakes cheese on sale for
cheaper. She asked me what the difference was, and I told her that Land
O' Lakes was better. Her response: "I'll take a pound of the [store]
cheese."



==


We were interviewing a new recruit and the owner of the company
made this statement during the interview: "I believe people are more
fragile than eggs, and if it were up to me, I would rather play with my
eggs." It took quite a bit of restraint not to burst out in hysterical
fits of laughter.



==


While working for a leather company, we were chatting in the
lab about food. One of the other lab technicians pondered aloud, "I
wonder why you never get the skin on beef?"



==


Every time my husband gets a new temp assignment, he gets a new
security badge. The temp stands against the wall and the camera –
generally in a fixed position – snaps the ID photo. My husband uses a
wheelchair. So his security picture features the blank wall above his
head.



==



On a canal boating holiday, the boat had a shower, with a stirrup pump that pumped excess water through the side of the hull.



A friend (an engineer) asked “Why didn't they put the hole in the bottom of the boat?”



==


I went to a local pizza restaurant and asked about the
difference between a large and a medium pizza. The Induhvidual told me
the large pizza had 10 slices and the medium had 8 slices. I told her
to take one of the large pizzas, cut it into 8 slices, and I would pay
for a medium. She just stared at me like I had asked her a question
about Euclidian Geometry.



==


I went into my local bookstore and explained I needed Mein
Kampf by Adolf Hitler for a politics essay, the woman behind the desk
said "Is it a new release?"



==


In the interview, which had been going very well up to this
point, the interviewer asked, "Why do you want to leave your current
job?" In my Induhvidual moment, I responded "It's too much work."
Needless to say I didn't get any further consideration.



==


A few of us were talking about fighter planes and one of my
friends asked, "If a plane is going faster than the speed of a bullet
when it fires, does the bullet come out the back of the plane?" We were
all surprised when he failed out of the engineering program the
following semester.



==


I was paying my cell phone bill with a debit card. The
Induhvidual behind the counter carefully checked my signature with the
one on the card. I guess that’s to prevent people from stealing wallets
and going around paying the victim’s bills.